Beach Battles, Part 4

Welcome back to another edition of Beach Battles! Thanks for coming.

Over the last few weeks, we’ve been taking a look at the summer-themed PPVs of the past (not Summerslam).  In Parts 1-3, we looked at the WCW Beach Blast and Bash At The Beach shows, which featured everything from NBA all-stars to the rise of the nWo.  If you missed any of those, check them out below.  Don’t worry, we’ll hang here by the grill.

Beach Battles, Part 1

Beach Battles, Part 2

Beach Battles, Part 3

With Labor Day in our rearview mirror, we’re going to have one last summer blast today. We’re leaving Atlanta and heading straight up the east coast to HOSTILE CITY, for a little promotion you may remember – I’m talking about ECW.

When Eastern Championship Wrestling first started running shows, a lot of their early buzz came from wrestling tape traders.  The company’s first official VHS tape was 1993’s Super Summer Sizzler.  The Sizzler was topped by a Texas Chain Match Massacre between Terry Funk and “Hot Stuff” Eddie Gilbert, with the title of “King Of Philadelphia” on the line.

In 1994, The Public Enemy took on the Funk brothers in a bloody Barbed Wire Match at the first ever Heat Wave supercard.  That same year, ECW would rename themselves Extreme.

Heat Wave would be an annual summer tradition for the run of ECW.  Heat Wave 1997 would be one of the company’s first iPPV events, and in 1998, the show would hit traditional PPV for the first time.

Today, we’re going to look back at the main events from those Heat Wave PPVs, and I promise you, it will be extreme.  So strip down to your shorts and lather on that sunscreen.  Are you ready for the HEAT???

ECW HEAT WAVE 1998

DUDLEYVILLE STREET FIGHT

The Dudleys (w/Sign Guy Dudley, Joel Gertner & Jeff Jones)

vs. Tommy Dreamer, The Sandman & Little Spike Dudley

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So here’s what you need to know before going into this one.  First, you have the Dudleys stable.  No, it’s not just the two Dudley Boyz who would go on to become one of the top tag teams of all time.  This is the full FAMILY.  You’ve got Buh Buh Ray, the sadistic hillbilly who was known to incite even the crowd to violence.  You have D-Von, the psuedo-preacher who helped take the Dudleys from a comedy act to the most hated heel stable in ECW history.  Then you have Big Dick Dudley, the enforcer of the group and one of the three original Dudley brothers.  In tow was hype man Sign Guy Dudley, a mute who carried signs to taunt their opponents and the fans, and the Dudley’s personal ring announcer, Joel Gertner, aka the honorary Studley Dudley.

The Dudleys liked to hurt people, and their favorite way to do this was using their Dudley Death Drop finisher – nicknamed the 3D.   As summer of ’98 dawned, the Dudleys were embroiled in a feud with Tommy Dreamer, ECW’s quintessential good guy, and The Sandman – the beer swilling, cigarette smoking, Singapore cane swinging fan favorite. The Dudley Boyz lost to this duo at Wrestlepalooza 1998 and set out for payback.

To combat the numbers game, Dreamer and Sandman enlisted the help of Little Spike Dudley, the 150-lb runt of the Dudley clan.  Spike had been feuding with his brothers ever since D-Von took them to the dark side, so he made a formidable ally.

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Inter-Dudley Violence

Things escalated during an episode of ECW Hardcore TV, when a 6-man tag team matched devolved into a violent brawl.  ECW’s resident gangsta New Jack would interfere on behalf of the faces, only to be taken out by mercenary Jack Victory.  Somewhere in all of this craziness, Buh Buh Ray and D-Von hit the 3D on Tommy Dreamer’s wife/manager, Beulah McGillicutty, breaking her neck.  It was one of the Dudleys’ sickest ECW highlights and, needless to say, did not sit well with Dreamer.

As the Dudleys bragged about taking out Beulah, Dreamer vowed revenge.  A 6-man rematch was set for Heat Wave ’98.  During an episode of Hardcore TV, the Dudleys defeated Dreamer, Sandman and Spike in a series of matches, which meant Buh Buh, D-Von and Dick could decide the stipulation for the bout.   And with that, we prepare for an old fashioned Dudleyville Street Fight.

All caught up? Good, because we are LIVE from Dayton, Ohio for Heat Wave ’98.  The voice of ECW, Joey Styles, kicks things off in the ring, introducing ECW Champion “The Franchise” Shane Douglas as his announce partner for the night.  Douglas is injured here, but has a vested interest in the result of the semi-main event, which features his enemy Tazz taking on Shane’s Triple Threat partner Bam Bam Bigelow.

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The Franchise and a big boob

This the first Heat Wave event held outside of Philadelphia.  The Dayton crowd is HOT.  So is Shane’s manager Francine, in a 1990’s trashy adult video kind of way.  I’m watching on the WWE Network, so the pair make their way out to some generic, WWE-inserted music.  I’ll try to refrain instead of complain.  We make some jokes about Francine’s boobs and the crowd chants about showing them.  Douglas is dropping F bombs and THIS AIN’T SEINFELD, PEOPLE!

We’ll fast forward to the main event and Shane is gone to chase Tazz.  Joey Styles hypes the street fight, noting how disgusting the Dudleys are and listing all of the men they’ve sent to the hospital.  A short video recaps Beulah’s untimely death.

The Dudley are out first – no music, but tons of boos.  Styles says he’s not going to put them over (which puts them over even more).  Sign Guy has a sign that reads, “The REAL Sunday Night Heat.”  Buh Buh Ray has the mic and challenges anyone in WWF, WCW or the crowd to come get destroyed by the Dudleys.  Buh Buh spends about 5 minutes doing crowd work.

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The Duh-Duh-Duh-Dudleys

Heel referee Jeff Jones is also part of the Dudleys stable at this point.  He has a blow up doll dressed like Beulah.  They call her the hardcore prostitute Beulah McGilliSlutty.  ECW – it ain’t subtle!

Joel Gertner does his usual dirty limerick and we are ELEVEN MINUTES into this Dudley entrance when a generic version of Alice In Chains’ “Man In The Box” hits and the faces make their way out.  The good guys are out with ladders because they mean business.  Spike’s is the shortest.  Sandman’s is the longest, in case you were having a contest.

Crowd is crazy for the entrance as Sandman pulls cans of beer out of his pants as he smokes and works the crowd.  Has anyone ever mentioned that Sandman looks like a combination of the guy from Queens of the Stone Age and somebody’s unemployed dad?

After TWENTY MINUTES, the bell rings for the match to begin.  Even The Undertaker and Triple H are like, guys, speed this up.

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Extreme Staring Contest

We kick off with D-Von and Dreamer in the ring.  They get into a slapfest, followed by some nice chain wrestling.  That breaks up and D-Von flexes.  Both guys look so strong here. It’s great seeing them back in their heyday.

Tommy hits a hangman’s neckbreaker on D-Von, so Buh Buh comes in.  Spike wants Buh Buh so Dreamer obliges.  Probably a poor decision because Buh Buh throws Little Spike around like a fat guy playing with his undersized brother.  Spike catches a break when Buh Buh slips, but his comeback eats a Bubba Bomb.

Buh Buh Ray looks at Tommy and tells him this is all his fault.  Time to kill Little Spike.  The runt of the Dudleys gets brutalized.  Buh Buh goes for another Bubba Bomb, but Spike reverses into a hurricanrana!  Buh Buh up but Sandman smashes a beer can in his face. Ha! Empty!

Spike wants more, but Buh Buh says nah and tags in Big Dick Dudley.  Spike tags out to Sandman and we’ve got a battle of big guys.  Joey Styles hypes Big Dick’s strength.  The crowd chants, “F him up Sandman, F him up.”  The crowd is not subtle.

Sandman clotheslines Dick to the floor and it’s a Pier 6 brawl outside.  The fight spills into the crowd as Spike drapes Buh Buh over the railing and just stands on him.  Little brothers, am I right?

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Mom, he’s doing it again!

Sandman and Buh Buh Ray finding their way back to the ring.  Buh Buh takes control, but Sandman hits a crazy looking rana off the turnbuckles.  FrankenSandman!

Meanwhile, Big Dick waffles Dreamer with a chair on the outside.  Gross, I said Big Dick Waffles.

Little Spike Dudley sets a ladder up in the ring (the big onw). Huge splash to everyone outside draws the match’s first OMG from Joey Styles. ECW! ECW!

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I believe I can fly!

Sandman and D-Von make it back to the ring and we get some good old fashioned ladder violence.  Sandman hits a nasty somersault senton on D-Von, but Dick takes him out.  Tommy Dreamer falls victim to a 3 on 1 situation and gets flattened by a ladder senton from Buh Buh Ray.

Y’all forgot about Spike though, and he’s a house of fire!  Spike takes out D-Von and then hits the Acid Drop on Buh Buh Ray onto the ladder.  Covers for the pin! 1-2-SAVED BY D-VON! TESTIFY!  D-Von smashes Spike onto the ladder with a side slam.  D-Von is wearing the crimson mask!

Big Dick is up but ironically gets crotched by Sandman.  The faces revive and drape all of the Dudleys in the Tree of Woe.  Gertner tries to interfere, but he gets a figure four instead as Sandman tosses chairs into the ring.  Gertner gets hung in a Tree of Woe, so we have all four corners filled with hanging Dudleys.

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You take the ugly one.

Jeff Jones breaks up the good guy party with a chair, followed by his best Tommy Dreamer impression, hitting a piledriver on the beloved Beulah McGilliSlutty.  Tommy Dreamer does not approve and does his own Tommy Dreamer impression. Jones is deceased.

The Dudleys are still hanging in the corners, so the faces AND THE REF hit four dropkicks on the bad guys.  HA!!  Tommy Dreamer hits the Dreamer Driver on Big Dick. 1-2-SAVED BY D-VON! OH TESTIFY!!

Big Dick counters gets Dreamer with Total Penetration on a ladder.  Little Spike tries to make the save with an Acid Drop out of nowhere, but Dick catches him and tosses him out of the ring and through a table. FATALITY!

Sandman breaks up Dick’s party with a Singapore cane to the face.  He tries the same on D-Von, but D-Von ducks and Sandy eats a chair instead – and he eats all of it.

Everyone is bleeding and it looks like the faces are finished.   The heels set Dreamer up under the ladder and Buh Buh goes up for the big splash – AND MISSES!  DREAMER WITH A DDT ON THE LADDER! 1-2-3 BEULAH IS AVENGED!!

The good guys celebrate their victory, but Jack Victory is out to ruin the good time.  He takes a guitar to Sandman as the crowd chants for New Jack.  The Dudleys revive and begin a beatdown….BUT NEW JACK!

New Jack is out with a shopping cart full of weapons.  Jack murders the Dudleys with a giant stop sign, among other things.  New Jack covers Victory with the stop sign and smashes him with a golf club.  Victory gets a guitar exploded over his head for good measure.  New Jack is awesome.

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Dayton gets Extreme.

Sandman sets up ladders and the good guys pose on them as Dayton celebrates.  Dreamer gets on the mic and says that Dayton, OH is clearly ECW country.  And we out.

Match Rating: 6.5. Hey kids, do you like violence?  Not a great match from a technical perspective, but super fun.  If you like psychology and selling, it’s not for you, but if you like Dudleys flying everywhere, then it’s your match.  Heat Wave ’98 is remembered as one of ECW’s greatest shows and I can see why.

Heat Rating: 95 degrees.  If you think ECW shows outside of Philly weren’t hot, then think again. And think right this time.

ECW HEAT WAVE 1999

ECW World Television Champion Rob Van Dam & Jerry Lynn (w/Bill Alfonso)

vs. The Impact Players (w/Dawn Marie)

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So a year passes and we are headed in to Heat Wave ’99.   The Dudleys are still around and still chasing the ECW Tag Team Titles, but a new team has arrived on the scene to shake things up – The Impact Players.

In early 1999, Shane Douglas had lost his ECW Title and was teasing a retirement.  As part of his exit strategy, Douglas claimed that he was going to anoint ECW’s “New Franchise”.  Both Justin Credible and Lance Storm felt they held claim to the moniker, but Douglas instead gave the honor to Tommy Dreamer.  Credible and Storm didn’t like that one bit, so they joined together to take down Shane, Tommy and all of ECW.  The Impact Players were born.

As the Players systematically ran through ECW’s top talent, Credible ran afoul of ECW TV Champion – The Whole F’n Show Rob Van Dam.  RVD took issue with anyone calling themselves the best, and while there were two Impact Players and only one RVD, Van Dam always had his trusty partner Sabu to fall back on, right? Well, not so fast.

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If you’re with us, you’re pointing.

Thanks in part to the Impact Players, Sabu had been suspended by ECW, making him persona non grata.  In finding a new partner, RVD turned to perhaps the oddest choice on the ECW roster – Jerry Lynn.  Lynn had faced RVD in a hellacious match for the TV title at ECW Living Dangerously ’99.  The match went to time limit and Lynn was shockingly declared the winner by decision, but Jerry Lynn requested five more minutes in order to defeat RVD properly.  That didn’t happen and RVD hit the 5-star frogsplash to retain his TV Title.

Embittered by the defeat, Jerry Lynn started mocking RVD and calling himself “The New F’n Show”.  If Jerry Lynn was surprised by the invite to team with RVD, Sabu was outraged.  The three man argued often heading into the match, and it was all manager Bill Alfonso could do to keep it together.  Could such a dysfunctional team defeat the Impact Players when they were on the roll of a lifetime?

And all of that leads us back to Dayton, OH for Heat Wave ’99.  We kick things off with lots of backstage segments, with each ECW wrestler explaining why they’re the hottest star.  We get to see a pre-WWF Lita in her first PPV appearance (as Miss Congeniality).  The Dudleys talk about how they’re going to send Spike Dudley and Balls Mahoney through a flaming table.  Now that’s heat!

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Just another day in Dudleyville.

Jerry Lynn says he doesn’t like Rob Van Dam and he never will, but tonight the Impact Players are gonna “get their asses smoked.”  Meanwhile, Sabu and RVD nearly come to blows.

Joey Styles is in the ring to welcome us on this last July 18th of the millennium.  Where were you on the last July 18th of the millennium? Where were you?

I fast forward to the main event and Joey is in the booth with Cyrus (the Virus) to hype the big tag team match.  Cyrus calls Lance Storm Canada’s greatest athlete.

Justin Credible is out first, carrying the Singapore cane he stole from the Sandman.  Nice touch.  Joey and Cyrus hype the debut of ECW On TNN, a huge milestone in ECW history that goes down in a month.  Lance Storm is out with his manager Dawn Marie, and yeah.

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How Dawn Marie feels when she looks at you.

 

Jerry Lynn is out, followed by RVD with Bill Alfonso.  The crowd is visibly going crazy for Van Dam, but you can’t judge the pop because of the generic music and crowd noise that WWE Network has dubbed over RVD’s entrance music.  This generic music just kills me.  There has to have been a better way!

RVD points out a “Get Well Sonya” sign, referencing his wife who had been in a jet-ski accident.  Spoiler alert – she did get well, and then they got divorced. Bob Ortiz is in the ring for the intros and he calls Dawn Marie Lance Storm’s “own personal bytch”, referencing some feud with Sunny that I don’t feel like reading about. ECW – it ain’t clever!

RVD and Fonzie take forever explaining something to Jerry Lynn before the bell rings.  I guess they’re trying to decide who is going to start? THEY CAN’T GET ALONG!

Jerry Lynn kicks it off, so Justin Credible comes in for the heel team.  Sign in the crowd says “Credible Fears RVD”, and that’s pretty much the story of the match.  Justin taunts JL while Fonzie jaws more at him.  This is stalling at a 0.8 Hollywood Hogan level.

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Before we wrestle, we’ve all got a LOT to talk about.

We finally get into it with some good back and forth.  Knife edge chop-off leads to a Woo-fest.  Irish whip into a pip-up and we’ve got multiple tombstone-piledriver reversals, but no tombstone piledrivers! Lynn hits a nice flying bulldog, catches a dropkick and then slingshots Credible to the floor, taking out Lance Storm in the process.  Good segment.

The heels stall and RVD is in, so Justin Credible tags out to Lance Storm.  Crowd chants “You’re A P*ssy”.  Just good family entertainment.

Back and forth with RVD constantly besting Storm.  The crowd loves Van Dam here and he really does have a “best in the world” air about him.  Unfortunately, Rob knows it.  Joey Styles calls Van Dam a “hot dog”, meaning a show-off, which I haven’t heard another person do in years.  It’s the first of several hot dog-filled comments in this match.

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Hot dog, I love that weiner man.

Lance Storm finally catches a break, getting RVD in a single-leg Boston crab, but Rob flips out into a side kick.  Big RVD chant.  Jerry Lynn tags in for some more back and forth. He gets a roll-up on Lance for 2, but then eats a cane to the face from Credible! ECW! ECW!

Heels take over as Credible tags in. Styles calls Credible a coward, which is a little nicer than what the crowd has to say.  Dawn Marie taunts outside as only Dawn Marie can.  Cyrus mentions that he knew Lance Storm years ago, when he used to carry some blonde kid.  That’s a Chris Jericho reference, if you didn’t know.

Credible picks up JL and hits the Razor’s Edge – shout out from a junior associate member of the Kliq!  Fonzie tosses a chair in the ring, but Lance intercepts it and sets it up in the corner.  Storm hot dogs and ends up eating his own chair!

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When you think you having hot dogs but you bout to eat a chair.

Credible tags in and works on keeping JL from tagging in RVD.  Justin takes the chair but Lynn drives his face in it with a nasty DDT.  When you live by the chair, you die by the chair.

Credible tags in Lance Storm, and Lynn gets the hot (dog) tag to RVD.  HOUSE OF FIRE! RVD hits Storm with a side kick from the top rope. Whole F’n Show chant and it’s CHAIR VIOLENCE and HOT DOGS ON THE MENU TONIGHT, MR. STORM!

Storm ends up draped over the rail outside, and Fonzie holds a chair so RVD can dive from the ropes to smash it into Lance’s back. It’s breaking loose in Dayton!  Credible and Lynn are brawling on the ramp.  Lynn hits a nasty bulldog from the ropes to the outside.

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EXTREME BULLDOG!

RVD hits a crossbody to Storm, taking him over the railing and into the crowd. RVD does a flip off the rail onto Lance. Van Dam looking like Tom Freaking Brady here.

RVD misses a slingshot legdrop and recovers.  He goes up top but gets pushed off onto a chair.  Storm takes advantage of the situation and hits his spin kick finisher.  Cover only gets 2!  Storm with a kick to Rob’s whole F’n balls.  Now that’s unnecessary.

RVD no-sells the low-blow and hits what we now know as Rolling Thunder on Lance. Tumbling Senton! 1-2-JUSTIN CREDIBLE BREAKS IT UP!  We finally get Credible and Van Dam in the ring together! Crowd is crazy!

Credible beats down RVD, but Van Dam slingshots Justin into the corner.  Justin flips over the ropes and to the outside.  Joey Styles posits that Credible did that on purpose just to get away.

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Later sucker!

Van Dam hits Lance Storm with a facebuster on the chair. Credible gets set up on a table outside the ring.  RVD sets up a chair for the big dive to take out Credible, but SABU IS HERE! Sabu steals Van Dam’s thunder and smashes Credible instead! That’s not cool, man.

RVD goes for the Five Star Frogsplash on Lance Storm but misses and get Jerry Lynn instead.  Lance goes for the opportunistic cover, but it only gets 2.  RVD with the VAN DAMINATOR to Storm.  Jerry Lynn hits the cradle piledriver and that’s all she wrote. 1-2-3 Lance Storm is dead!

Generic music hits and Bill Alphonso celebrates while RVD and Lynn argue about who should’ve gotten the pin.  Sabu is in to argue with both guys, pushing Rob into Jerry. All this breaks down into a melee as we go off the air.

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Love Hate Triangle

Match Rating: 7.0.  A good RVD showcase, but didn’t feel like it kicked into its highest gear.

Heat Rating: 88 degrees.  The crowd hated Justin Credible as much as they loved Rob Van Dam. Throw in Dawn Marie and a couple of flaming tables and, someone call Buster Poindexter, this show is HOT HOT HOT.

ECW HEAT WAVE 2000

ECW World Heavyweight Title Stairway To Hell Match

Justin Credible (c) (w/Francine)

vs. Tommy Dreamer (w/Jazz & George)

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And here we are at the final Heat Wave PPV.

So if you’ll remember, The Impact Players formed as a response to Shane Douglas’s alignment with Tommy Dreamer.  Well, Dreamer and Justin Credible would continue that rivalry for a long time.

At CyberSlam 2000, Dreamer captured the ECW Title for the first time in his career after defeating Taz (which is a story in and of itself.)   Justin Credible interrupted the celebration to challenge Tommy on the spot for the ECW Title and Tommy accepted.  Unfortunately, during the impromptu match, Tommy’s manager Francine turned on him, allowing Justin to get the victory and take Dreamer’s newly won championship.

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That’s Justin Credible

The new champ aligned himself with Francine, as well as the Network faction, a group of heels led by Cyrus who represented the good of “TNN”.  Apparently, ECW’s real-life deal with the TNN channel was not a smooth relationship, and The Network was used as a creative way to vent those frustrations.

At Hardcore Heaven ’00, Credible was set to defend the ECW Title against Dreamer and former partner Lance Storm in a triple threat match.  Justin refused to defend against Tommy, and threatened to throw the ECW Title in the trash if he didn’t get his way.  He did, and Credible defeated Lance Storm, injuring Storm’s manager Dawn Marie in the process.

All of that leads us to Heat Wave 2000, where Tommy Dreamer finally gets his hands on Justin Credible in the third ever Stairway To Hell Match.  The rules were similar to a typical ladder match, although instead of suspending the championship belt above the ring, barbed wire is suspended instead.  Super humane.

The show opens cold on the beaches of Los Angeles, California, where ECW is making its debut.  We get a shot of the post-weight loss Blue Meanie, along with his girlfriend Jasmine St. Claire.  The pair are busy fat shaming a guy who is clearly not fat.  Meanie says the non-fattie isn’t worth the sweat off of the Blue Boy’s balls – a great catchphrase if I’ve ever heard one.

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The Blue Boy and his sweaty balls

The Blue Guy and Jasmine make out while Sinister Minister appears to hype the big show.  Minister says something about the “Rodney Kings of the Ring” and we see Mikey Whipwreck up to his neck in sand.  This is all very stupid, but I do appreciate the beach setting, which caps off my little series here nicely.

Thankfully, we cut to the arena and the L.A. crowd is hot. Big ECW chant. Joey Styles is in the ring, as well as his partner Joel Gertner.  Joel transitioned from Dudley to commentator after the Dudley Boyz bolted for the WWF.  Joel talks about “California dreamin'” and “girlie’s screamin'” and I can’t even repeat the rest, but you can imagine.

Cyrus interrupts the proceedings, doing his best Vickie Guerrerro before Vickie Guerrero was even a thing.  Big “You Suck D*ck” chant, and that’s actually the last clean thing said in this segment.  Gertner and Cyrus have an exchange that is too offensive for 2018.

Cyrus says this is the reason TNN is cancelling ECW.   That’s part shoot, as TNN would basically ditch ECW to air Raw about a month later.   Gertner says screw this and quits in the ring.  Cyrus gloats, but Joel attacks from behind and we have a brawl to kick off.  Sign in the crowd reads, “Cyrus is a Registered Sex Offender.”  ECW – it ain’t polite!

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The Quintessential Studmuffin takes down a registered sex offender.

Balls Mahoney hits the ring to break things up and security is in to pull everyone apart.  A huge fat guy shows up and takes out everyone.  It’s Sal E. Graziano from the FBI.  Has the show started yet? What the heck is going on???

I fast forward to the main event and we’ve got Joey, Cyrus and Dawn Marie in the booth. Cyrus is making the worst sexual innuendos in the world.  This is worse than a Mark Madden sex tape.

ECW Champion Justin Credible is out first with Francine.  We get a shot of the barbed wire hanging above the ring.  Credible’s eyeball is all f’ed up with no explanation.  Once I accidentally ran over a big frog on my lawnmower.  I saw it hopping away and its eye was all red and screwed up like Justin’s.  I knew it was going to die and I teared up a little bit.  It’s not like I love frogs, I just had a lot of things going on in my life at the time.

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Ol’ nasty eye

The bad music hits and out comes Tommy Dreamer with his equalizer – B.A. women’s wrestler Jazz.  But Tommy has a surprise, too – out comes George with a ladder.  You may remember George as Macho Man’s girlfriend Gorgeous George from back in Beach Battles 3.  I guess things didn’t work out with Randy.  Fun fact – George would go on to marry Doyle, the guitarist from the Misfits.  I guess they met when the Misfits accompanied Vampiro in WCW.  X-Pac spends Christmas with Danzig. Wrestling is weird.

The crowd does not have kind things to chant at Justin Credible.  Dawn Marie on George – “I think she has big boobs.”  Remember this garbage when you cry about ECW going bankrupt.

The match starts with MAIN EVENT STALLING! A fan gets a little handsy with Francine at ringside.  A huge brawl erupts between the fan’s crew and security.  Half the ECW locker room gets involved and this is insane.  Justin Credible takes a seat in the ring, and Tommy Dreamer starts an ECW chant as the offenders are tossed out. ECW – it ain’t safe for performers!

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Make an X sign if you’ve touched Francine.

We finally kick the match off with a double bird from Credible to Dreamer.  Some good back and forth and I’ll be darned if an actual wrestling match isn’t happening.  A superkick finally drops Tommy and this commentary is so bad I may have to hit mute.  I’d rather listen to a full playlist of WWE Network overdubbed entrance music than have to hear Cyrus again.  Thank God this is the last ECW Heat Wave.

Dreamer nails a deep powerslam and then a clothesline takes both men to the floor. Tommy grabs a drink from a fan and smashes Justin with it. We brawl into the crowd and Credible gets slammed into a utility box.  The crowd is going crazy, swarming around both guys.  Tommy tosses Justin back over the railing and then kicks his butt up the ramp.  Dreamer takes Credible up into the stands.  HE’S INNOVATING VIOLENCE!

Justin Credible is bleeding and Dreamer leaves to grab a ladder.  He sets it up on the floor below, right behind the merch table.  Dreamer climbs the ladder to deliver more violence, but of course he gets pushed off and crashes into the merch.  Bad camera angle didn’t catch it, so we go to a replay from another bad angle.

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No good pic of the ladder spot, so here’s our mandatory Beach Battles pic of Hollywood Hogan.

The competitors brawl back up the ramp and it’s Credible now setting up the ladder.  Tommy gets crotched on the rail and Justin sets up a table.  Things are looking bad for our hero until Tommy whips the champ into the ladder.  Ouch.  “F Him Up Tommy” chant.

Dreamer takes the ladder into the ring and sets it up horizontally on one of the ring posts.  Because of Section 23 of the Foreign Objects Law Book, which states, he who sets up the table, ladder or chair will be the one who is destroyed by said table, ladder or chair, Dreamer gets smashed into the ladder.

Credible sets up both a ladder AND a chair in the corner, then goes for an underhook piledriver.  Section 23 strikes again and Tommy slingshots the champ into his own ladder.  Somebody call an extreme dentist!

Dreamer sets up the ladder in the middle of the ring, going for the barbed wire.  He makes it halfway up, but Francine is in and pulls him down – right on top of her.  THAT looked nasty.  Both recover and Jazz and George are in to take out Francine.  GEORGE TURNS ON JAZZ!! Kevin Nash sits somewhere unsurprised.

Francine goes for a bronco buster on a prone Jazz, but Jazz just gives her two feet to the gut.  Jazz murders George and then goes after Francine.  Jazz rips Francine’s top off and Francine runs off with nothing but X’s covering her.  Credible in – tombstone piledriver to Jazz!  THIS IS CRAZY TOWN!

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Good thing she always has extra coverage.

Tommy Dreamer catches Justin and hits the TommyHawk.  1-2-NO! Credible kicks out.  Dreamer climbs the ladder and RETRIEVES THE BARBED WIRE!  Is violence about to be innovated? I believe that it is, sir!

Joey says that only the Lord can help Justin Credible now, but Francine is back out in a T-shirt.  Dreamer drapes the barbed wire on the ropes, but Credible attacks and sets Dreamer up on the top turnbuckle.  Credible climbs up to deliver more punishment, but Tommy pushes him and Credible is CROTCHED ON THE BARBED WIRE!

Dreamer goes for an inverted DDT, but Justin reverses that into a tombstone.  Tombstone to Tommy on the barbed wire!  Both men are spent. Francine is in with the singapore cane, but she accidentally takes out Credible with it.

Dreamer wakes up and hits the DDT on the champ.  That’s got to be it. 1-2-CREDIBLE KICKS OUT!   Tommy goes for another TommyHawk, but Credible floats out and reverses into a tombostone piledriver.  A SECOND TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER ON THE BARBED WIRE! Dreamer is dead.  1-2-3, Still Champion.

heatwave00tec91
This won’t hurt a bit.

A bloody Justin Credible celebrates in the ring as garbage rains down.

And that’s it for Heat Wave.  Credible would hold the ECW Title until losing it to Jerry Lynn at Anarchy Rulz.  Both Tommy Dreamer and Justin Credible would remain with ECW until the very end.  In January of 2001, Justin would take on The Sandman in the final ECW match.

Match Rating: 5.5.  Felt kind of rushed and the barbed wire wasn’t as crazy as you’d hope to see.  The commentary definitely took it down a point, and the Francine topless thing may have been shocking in 2000, but just seemed unnecessary.

Heat Rating:  103 degrees.  Even though ECW was on its way out, the L.A. crowd was on fire for this show.  Tons of chants made for a fun time, plus you had the beach opener, as stupid as it was.  The Francine-fan incident turned out to be a stunt by L.A. promotion XPW.  Years later, Francine admitted that no one had touched her, so it’s possible the whole thing was a work that ECW was in on that never materialized.  Either way, it added to the air of L.A. insanity, and you can’t deny the heat of the final Heat Wave.

And that’s it for Beach Battles! I sincerely thank you for reading about summer wrestling stuff when fall starts in just a few days and football season is well underway.  I hope you had as much fun as I did writing these, and I hope you FELT THE HEAT!!

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